This morning I see a wide, open space. Everything is of the same color: white, light pink and purple – the colors of sunrise. It is surreal, as if I was standing in the clouds. My feet touch a white floor but even the floor is slightly covered by mist.
I sense no limit here, I am free here; I love the colors. I start to dance.
‘What is this place?’
My memory turns to the pages two days ago when I was sitting in a café with Him. I asked Him what He was doing.
“I am speaking your language,” He said.
Funny God, what did He mean by that? Did I have my own language?
“You’re funny, too” He said. “I love the way you talk – the gestures you make, the smile on your face. … the emotions you touch, the thoughts you have.”
Weird God. I feel largely inadequate when it comes to my thoughts, how can He say that? He tells me I have His thoughts. I turn my head because I feel embarrassed but He smiles at me, and I smile back at Him.
“So, what exactly are you speaking?”, I continued.
I burst out laughing. “What does that mean?”, I asked.
“That I accept you.”
“That’s an interesting concept, God.” It reminded me of something I had read in the past. “That’s like when parents mirror their children’s emotions to make them feel loved and accepted.”
He said He does that all the time. “My child,” He said, “My precious, precious daughter! My darling, the apple of my eye! How I love you!”
I turn the pages back to this morning. ‘What is this place?’ Now I know. It is my heart. It is quiet and at peace. These colors are my favorite colors. I love this sense of freedom, the intimacy of just me and Him.
My perspective then widens: I am in Him and He is in me. ‘Cause as the scene grows thin, I see myself dancing there, on the palms of His hands, Him pulling His hands closer to His heart as if He wants to treasure this memory of me. And I cry because I know it’s Him. This is the One I love!
It has been a while, brothers and sisters in Christ! I have been going through an intense season of testing and my cup truly overflows as I stretch out my thirsty soul towards the Lord! How are you doing? Has your trust in the Father grown? This morning, I see a dam breaking for Blue Mountain Ministry and powerful streams of water pushing through the bricks, silencing the voice of the enemy. Hallelujah!
May godly sorrow and grief lead us to repentance, allowing the Holy Spirit in us to just be Him and not who we want Him to be. May we say,
“No, Lord, it’s not okay. I am no longer OK with my sins. My innermost thoughts should be about you, I should love you with all my heart, with all my strength and with all my mind. This cannot continue. Redeem me, do it for Your name’s sake and set me free forever! Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. I make room for you, Holy Spirit! I love you! Save me from ever settling down with less than You. I want my heart to want God above all else! Help!”
Love has enemies. The people of this world do not like it when we lose our lives for Christ. The prince of this world hates God’s children. It is pure hatred directed against us but he disguises himself as an angel of light. If we are not careful, we end up partnering with him in hating our neighbors as we hate ourselves, instead of loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. Oh, but greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world! He has overcome!
He never leaves us but helps us and reminds us of His love – we only need to cry out and if we do and wait in patient love towards God, the Spirit turns the stony parts of our hearts into flesh. He sets us free from the heavy yoke of slavery so that we can rule over sin and not be slaves to them. He helps us be the person whom we were created to be.
Brothers and sisters, let me take you on a journey into the heart of God over the following days! I have powerful testimonies to share and I can’t wait to hear yours! We need each other in this hour. Arise, army of God! Breath of God, come and blow over the dry bones, let the tendons and flesh be attached and lives enter their bodies! Let Your Bride, Jesus, walk by the Spirit of life, her head raised and shining pure and bright with Your glory! Amen!
There are times when no one else can take this step of faith with you. You know it is personal; it goes deep. Ultimately, it is your decision and yours alone to trust God and surrender. You sense it is a big decision and you find it hard to let go completely. You already partly let go but this is where you need to die. You do not need any more signs and wonders to believe – no, you must just believe! Once and for all!
The desire to be cleansed is huge. The Holy Spirit has evoked a godly sorrow in my heart – I am at the threshold and I realize I never want to go back to my old life. I do not want to live double-minded before the Lord. I desire to be clean.
See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.
1. Corinthians 7:11 NIV
“God, if I can’t hear your voice right now because I am not willing to hear, would you just speak louder for me? Would you just shout out to me what you are saying?,” my desperate cry as I am walking outside on a Sunday afternoon. I close my eyes to listen and there! I hear Him loud and clear: “I love you, my child!,” and He continues, “I am desiring you! I want you!” I see Him there, standing further away on the opposite side of what seems like a dark valley of death between us. I know it is not real but only in my imagination. It is my fear and unbelief that make me dread the crossing.
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
John 12:24-26 NIV
So what now? Actually, we both know. God and I, we both know that I am going to take this step. I am going to cross over because He believes in me and is for me. I will die, only to be resurrected again. He is going to catch me as soon as I jump!
You were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:24 ESV
I do not want to hold onto my ways of coping with the emotional pain inside of me any longer. This inner child inside of me, crying out that she wants to be loved, is growing still before Him, to trust Him when He says He loves her. And the fretting goes because she finally sees! She shouts back to Him, “I trust you, God! I know your voice. Meet me there, Abba. I will jump for you. Because I know You will catch me.”
I have been waiting to announce this since the beginning of this year but I HAVE ACCEPTED GOD’S CALL TO LIVE A LIFE OF CELIBACY FOR HIM! This decision stands for months now but now I am ready to make it official!
Back in February 2022, I spent a weekend in a hotel alone with God to talk about important things. It became evident to me then, that it was my choice to accept this calling. Jesus says in Matthew 19: “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (v.11-12). Hence, I received it by the power of His grace and through faith! I asked Him for a ring, too, to help me stand with my decision and He gave me the money to buy the ring I have always wanted: a simple, thin ring of gold that I can wear every day without barely noticing it on my finger.
If it sounds like a too simple explanation for you for such a big decision, feel free to ask me about it the next time we talk, and I will be glad to give my full testimony. I choose God as my ultimate dance partner, as has been prophesied over me before, and despite the challenges that come with it, I rest assured that God is and will be with me. He asked me first, so He will never leave me alone in this.
“Not everyone can receive this, but only those to whom it is given. But let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” May this testimony encourage another sister or brother in Christ to heed to the calling of God in their lives, too! I am 29 years old and turning 30 this year – I consider it an honor to be able to make this decision at my prime age for the One I love. And oh, how He loves me! I can barely fathom!
Hallo alle zusammen,
Ich habe seit Anfang des Jahres darauf gewartet, dies anzukündigen, aber ich habe Gottes Ruf angenommen, EIN LEBEN IN EHELOSIGKEIT FÜR IHN zu führen! Diese Entscheidung steht schon seit Monaten fest, aber jetzt bin ich bereit, es offiziell zu machen!
Damals, im Februar 2022, verbrachte ich ein Wochenende in einem Hotel allein mit Gott, um über wichtige Dinge zu sprechen. Da wurde mir klar, dass es meine Entscheidung war, diese Berufung anzunehmen. Jesus sagt in Matthäus 19: “Nicht jeder kann begreifen, was ich jetzt sage, sondern nur die, denen Gott das Verständnis dafür gibt. Manche sind von Geburt an zur Ehe unfähig; andere werden es durch menschlichen Eingriff. Und es gibt Menschen, die verzichten von sich aus auf die Ehe, um sich Gottes himmlischem Reich ganz zur Verfügung zu stellen. Wer das begreift, der richte sich danach!” (V. 11-12). Und durch Seine Gnade konnte ich mich im Glauben danach richten. Ich bat Ihn auch um einen Ring, der mir helfen sollte, zu meiner Entscheidung zu stehen, und Er gab mir das Geld, um den Ring zu kaufen, den ich mir schon immer gewünscht hatte: einen einfachen, dünnen Ring aus Gold, den ich jeden Tag tragen kann, ohne dass ich ihn kaum an meinem Finger spüre.
Wenn sich das Ganze für dich nach einer zu einfachen Erklärung für eine so große Entscheidung anhört, dann kannst du mich gern bei unserem nächsten Gespräch danach fragen, und ich kann dir mehr erzählen! Ich habe mich für Gott als meinen ersten und letzten Tanzpartner entschieden, so wie es über mich prophezeit wurde, und trotz der damit verbundenen Herausforderungen ruhe ich in der Sicherheit, dass Gott bei mir ist und für immer sein wird. Er hat mich zuerst gefragt, so wird Er mich nie alleine lassen.
Nicht alle können es empfangen, sondern nur die, denen es gegeben ist. Aber Jesus ermutigt diejenigen, die es begreifen, sich danach zu richten. Möge meine Entscheidung eine andere Schwester oder einen anderen Bruder in Christus ermutigen, die richtige Entscheidung zu treffen! Gott wartet nämlich darauf! Ich bin 29 Jahre alt und werde dieses Jahr 30 – ich betrachte es als eine Ehre, diese Entscheidung in meinem besten Alter für den Einen, den ich liebe, treffen zu können. Und oh, wie sehr Er mich liebt! Ich kann es kaum fassen!
아주 기쁜 소식을 알려드리려 합니다! 저는 하나님을 위해 독신으로 살겠다는 결심을 했습니다! 이 부르심을 받아들이기로 한지 벌써 몇달이 지났는데 이제서야 발표할 때가 되었습니다.
2022년 2월에 전 하나님과 단둘이서 호텔에서 주말을 보내며 중요한 이야기들을 나눴습니다. 그제서야 저는 제가 이 부름심을 받아들이는 선택만이 남았음을 깨달았습니다. 예수님은 마태복음 19장 11-12절에서 다음과 같이 말씀하십니다. “사람마다 이 말을 받지 못하고 오직 타고난 자라야 할찌니라. 어미의 태로부터 된 고자도 있고 사람이 만든 고자도 있고 천국을 위하여 스스로 된 고자도 있도다, 이 말을 받을만한 자는 받을찌어다.” 그리하여 전 그 분의 은혜의 능력과 믿음으로 이 말씀을 받기로 했습니다. 제 마음이 더 굳세 질 수 있게 반지를 달라고 부탁했더니, 제게 돈을 주시면서 네가 항상 원하던 반지를 사라고 하셨습니다. 사진에서 보실 수 있으시듯이 매일 쉽게 착용할 수 있는, 아주 간단하고 얇은 금 반지입니다.
큰 결정을 너무 쉽게 얘기하는 게 아니냐고 생각하신다면, 다음에 얘기할 기회가 주어질 때 물어봐 주세요! 그러면 기꺼이 더 설명해 드리겠습니다. 이런 예언을 받은 적이 있습니다. 제가 하나님을 제 처음이자 마지막 댄스 파트너로 선택할 거라는 예언을요. 이에 어떤 어려움이 따르더라도 저는 마음 속 깊이 확신합니다, 하나님께서 저와 함께 하고 또 영원히 함께 하실 거라는 사실을요. 그분께서 제게 먼저 물으셨으니 저를 절대 혼자 두지 않으실 것입니다.
누구나 받을 수 있는 말은 아니나 받을만한 자는 받으라고 말씀하셨습니다. 제 간증이 다른 형제 자매들에게 격려가 되기를 바랍니다! 저는 올해 말에 만 30세가 됩니다. 저는 사랑하는 그분을 위해 이 전성기의 나이에 이런 결정을 할 수 있다는 것을 영광으로 생각합니다. 하나님이 저를 얼마나 사랑하시는지요!
It takes time for faith to grow. Some things just are not made right until we believe. Sometimes we have to go through a season of intense endurance to finally prove that faith. Without patience, it does not work.
Recently I had a brief moment with the Lord. I was lying down on a bench on a mountaintop – that is where we usually meet. I was just enjoying the breeze and the sun. I waited for Him to speak because His words always comfort me.
It was that simple. He had promised me something and I would be blessed when I believed (Luke 1:45). He was reminding me that I needed to remain patient. If I really trusted Him, I would wait. That is, I would rest in His love, enjoying every day with thanksgiving, staying close to Him and always keeping an eye out for His ways to speak. If so, I would know when the moment comes. I would recognize His voice. I would know that it was God.
My friend, I bless your faith in this hour. I pray that you will let go of any striving. I pray that no matter how often you feel let down by God, that somehow your heart would be protected by Him. For the Holy Spirit is the one who works faith in us. It means everything to Him when we love Him patiently like Jesus did.
To close this up, I want to share some elementary verses about faith from the book of Romans. God bless you, my brave sister and brother in Christ! You are almost there!
“But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.” (Romans 3:21-28 NLT)