The pain is real. It’s real because your growth is real. You are seldom backsliding when you feel like it. You’ve been pursuing God and searching for Truth and you think God is going to reward your faith with unbelief? No, that just doesn’t make sense. Let us not be quick to judge our faith by feelings.

My friend, you’re growing! You’re transitioning and breaking through. The reason why it hurts so much is because you have to unlearn your own survival methods that have kept you alive for years but cannot continue because God has seen your faith for the better. You are ready to face the enemy in battle, so He is leading you into the new. He is supervising your training.

“But why, God, would you let something so devastating happen to me? What did I do wrong?”

Is it hard to chew on this question? Still, it will be good for us to do it. Once we’ve swallowed, the bitter taste in our mouth will turn into sweetness in our stomach. We can expect it. We will be able to digest the truth that God is and has always been kind to us. Right there, our faith will increase and we will come to a whole another level of walking by the Spirit. What the enemy meant for harm, God makes it all work together for our good. Individually.

When you asked for this, you didn’t know. God didn’t reveal it to you then because you would have been too discouraged even before you started. He knew and He knows when the timing is right. Keep searching, keep asking.

God’s heart is big enough to handle all your doubts, hurts and disappointments towards Him.

So let it all out and let yourself be – just as much as you need, it’s okay. Then move on, shake off the dust and receive the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord. He will give you a fresh start. He will strengthen you and glorify the Son of God in you. Pentecost can happen everyday, especially where people gather to praise and worship.

My friend, if our spiritual eyes and ears were fully open, we would continually see a loving and caring Father who is sovereign over all and holding the whole universe, including us, in His hands. Let us trust again. Let us hope again.

“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:31‭-‬39 NIV

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